Friday, August 19, 2005
Death to Spam
And I don't mean the lunch meat variety, although I don't particularly like the stuff myself.
I was about to do a long overdue update on the comings and goings of my not-terribly-interesting life when I found a recent comment posted. "Find other singles in your area and you too could be on a hot date tonight! Call 800-GET-BENT now."
By the way that's not the real number, so don't bother trying. In fact do, because you might end up speaking to some mad person in Burkina Faso, which would provide you with much mirth and be the highlight of your day. First of all, if you're so pathetic that you need to kick-start your love life through internet dating then the problem is obvious - you're spending too much time on the bloody internet! And if you do respond, you'll end up meeting... someone who spends too much time on the internet and hasn't got a social life. Switch your computer off and go out and meet people.
Also, since it's an 800 number, we can only assume that it applies to the U.S.A. You fool, I can just picture you sitting in a wheelchair in a dark basement somewhere posting spam onto my blog (hint - the title "Stuck in Korea" could mean that I'm probably not based in the States) and hoping to get some replies. And I'm not implying that people in wheelchairs are spammers, just that in a just world spammers wouldn't be allowed to have the use of their legs, better yet their hands, so they couldn't press the "enter" key and send their spam out to the world.
If there are any mad scientists out there, could you please track these spammers down and infect them with one of those cool flesh-eating bugs? Oh, and anyone who responded to the date ad as well, because they need to be put out of their misery.
I'll do a proper update when I've calmed down.
I was about to do a long overdue update on the comings and goings of my not-terribly-interesting life when I found a recent comment posted. "Find other singles in your area and you too could be on a hot date tonight! Call 800-GET-BENT now."
By the way that's not the real number, so don't bother trying. In fact do, because you might end up speaking to some mad person in Burkina Faso, which would provide you with much mirth and be the highlight of your day. First of all, if you're so pathetic that you need to kick-start your love life through internet dating then the problem is obvious - you're spending too much time on the bloody internet! And if you do respond, you'll end up meeting... someone who spends too much time on the internet and hasn't got a social life. Switch your computer off and go out and meet people.
Also, since it's an 800 number, we can only assume that it applies to the U.S.A. You fool, I can just picture you sitting in a wheelchair in a dark basement somewhere posting spam onto my blog (hint - the title "Stuck in Korea" could mean that I'm probably not based in the States) and hoping to get some replies. And I'm not implying that people in wheelchairs are spammers, just that in a just world spammers wouldn't be allowed to have the use of their legs, better yet their hands, so they couldn't press the "enter" key and send their spam out to the world.
If there are any mad scientists out there, could you please track these spammers down and infect them with one of those cool flesh-eating bugs? Oh, and anyone who responded to the date ad as well, because they need to be put out of their misery.
I'll do a proper update when I've calmed down.
# posted by Stuart Reid @ 1:22 PM 
