Thursday, January 20, 2005
Who's in charge here?
I ask because I keep noticing bizarre things. Take my class yesterday, for instance. I picked up a crayon that one of the kindy kids was using only to find a cartoon character that would have been considered racist in the Victorian era. A strong resemblance to the Robinson's golliwog, but clad only in a loincloth and in possesion of huge lips. You get the idea. Then underneath I saw the character's name - "Mr. Moody, the shaggy primitive man". I'm not joking. I know that Korea's pretty homogeneous and as a result any debate over race relations has never really arisen, but come on. This is the 21st century!!!
Second came my publicity visit to the hospital. I was asked to accompany one of the Korean teachers and look white in the background as she talked to some of the nurses and gave them the hard sell about our school. First stop, God's waiting room. The patients here seemed too sick to be in the intensive care unit. I saw one blanket covering what I hope was medical equipment or more blankets, but it could have easily been a still-warm corpse. Next to him a murse was in the midst of intubating a man who was rasping away while another nurse drained something horrid out from a tube that was sticking out from his ribs. I'm not squeamish, but I didn't exactly feel comfortable with us publicising the school in a room where people were about to be dispatched into the afterlife.
Next came our visit to the 5th floor, where people weren't in immediate danger of dying. On the big wall by the nurses' desk all the diagnoses were helpfully written in English. They decided to put the gentleman with "neurosis" next to the chap with "vertigo" (is it really wise to put this man on the 5th floor?). Next to him was a man with concussion, which I really want to believe had been caused by a fall from a great height.
I would love to hear thir conversation.
Second came my publicity visit to the hospital. I was asked to accompany one of the Korean teachers and look white in the background as she talked to some of the nurses and gave them the hard sell about our school. First stop, God's waiting room. The patients here seemed too sick to be in the intensive care unit. I saw one blanket covering what I hope was medical equipment or more blankets, but it could have easily been a still-warm corpse. Next to him a murse was in the midst of intubating a man who was rasping away while another nurse drained something horrid out from a tube that was sticking out from his ribs. I'm not squeamish, but I didn't exactly feel comfortable with us publicising the school in a room where people were about to be dispatched into the afterlife.
Next came our visit to the 5th floor, where people weren't in immediate danger of dying. On the big wall by the nurses' desk all the diagnoses were helpfully written in English. They decided to put the gentleman with "neurosis" next to the chap with "vertigo" (is it really wise to put this man on the 5th floor?). Next to him was a man with concussion, which I really want to believe had been caused by a fall from a great height.
I would love to hear thir conversation.
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Introducing...
My two kindergarten kids, Julia and Joey.
Julia (left) and Joey (right)
I think we can all see that genius dwells within these two. Nice work there Joey.
Oh, and if you want to know their Korean names, they're Choe Hyo-Jeong and Jeong Jo-Eun respectively. So much easier for me to say the English names though. As you can see, they're a little bit on the young side. They're still at the oversized toddler's head stage.
Am I a teacher or a nanny?
Julia (left) and Joey (right)
I think we can all see that genius dwells within these two. Nice work there Joey.
Oh, and if you want to know their Korean names, they're Choe Hyo-Jeong and Jeong Jo-Eun respectively. So much easier for me to say the English names though. As you can see, they're a little bit on the young side. They're still at the oversized toddler's head stage.
Am I a teacher or a nanny?
Monday, January 17, 2005
Finally!
Snow!!!
If it's going to be this cold, then you need snow to make it all pretty. And here it is. This is the view from my hagweon looking towards Seoraksan park. The large stalinist building in the foreground is an elementary school. No-one gets awards for architecture in this country.
Plus our ad is ready to be sent out. They want me to go to the hospital later this week and hand out flyers. I think the logic is that all the nurses have young kids. Mind you, there might not be any sound reasoning behind the idea at all. Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest.
New quote today (as seen on a pencil case): "Do you know about us? We are funny and lovely virus!!! My favourite things are bluedisket, friends and l.o.v.e..." Computer viruses as cuddly animated characters. Who came up with that idea??? And why are the kids buying it???
Thursday, January 13, 2005
Airbrushed
I went in to the staff room today to find the boss and a couple of the teachers huddled over the table. As soon as they saw me they beckoned me over excitedly, urging me to have a look. The advert that they had been working on was finally ready and the boss gleefully pointed to Teddy's photo. Teddy's parents are Taiwanese, but he's from Mississippi and an all-American lad. God forbid any English teacher in Korea should look Asian, though. So they made a couple of minor alterations to Teddy's appearance.
They've coloured his hair brown, tinted the skin a little and given him a suit. I think they wanted me to be impressed by the whole thing when they showed me but I was absolutely dumbfounded. He looks like a mormon called Edmund, for God's sake!
My photo is unfortunately unaltered. I'm not particularly photogenic but in this one I'm a thin film of sweat away from looking like a stereotypical child molester. Not the face of a man you want anywhere near your kids.
A mormon and a paedophile. The public faces of our school. The ad campaign begins next week...
They've coloured his hair brown, tinted the skin a little and given him a suit. I think they wanted me to be impressed by the whole thing when they showed me but I was absolutely dumbfounded. He looks like a mormon called Edmund, for God's sake!
My photo is unfortunately unaltered. I'm not particularly photogenic but in this one I'm a thin film of sweat away from looking like a stereotypical child molester. Not the face of a man you want anywhere near your kids.
A mormon and a paedophile. The public faces of our school. The ad campaign begins next week...
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
Translators needed urgently
I've noticed this before (especially on T-shirts). They really like having some sort of English written on their bags, clothes and, well, everything. Problem is they don't have an English speaker to write it, so it often ends up as gibberish.
The whole thing came to the forefront of my mind as I was looking at the kids' notebooks today, all of which had some English phrase designed to inspire and inform the reader. Best examples -
"I see the clods. I see the sky. Everything is clear in our world." Um, clods?
"It's true love we're making and something to test for all time." That's one you want the kids to learn, definitely.
"When the sun slnlcs in the pale shallows Iwillstand at my gate, expectant birds sing in the shade at down the world gllstens calm and white." I think there's something here that speaks to all of us.
"Thin strongs of roy, glances of the eye of day, sing melodies on my luje, lift my notes much higher." I'm not even sure I have a luje, but even if I did then I wouldn't let Roy touch it, that's for certain.
"Bang-bang. I like Hamburg. Let's go pop! Excuse me, how can I go to city hall? It's so funny." Very deep. If we could all live by this philosophy, the world would be a better place.
I love this country sometimes.
The whole thing came to the forefront of my mind as I was looking at the kids' notebooks today, all of which had some English phrase designed to inspire and inform the reader. Best examples -
"I see the clods. I see the sky. Everything is clear in our world." Um, clods?
"It's true love we're making and something to test for all time." That's one you want the kids to learn, definitely.
"When the sun slnlcs in the pale shallows Iwillstand at my gate, expectant birds sing in the shade at down the world gllstens calm and white." I think there's something here that speaks to all of us.
"Thin strongs of roy, glances of the eye of day, sing melodies on my luje, lift my notes much higher." I'm not even sure I have a luje, but even if I did then I wouldn't let Roy touch it, that's for certain.
"Bang-bang. I like Hamburg. Let's go pop! Excuse me, how can I go to city hall? It's so funny." Very deep. If we could all live by this philosophy, the world would be a better place.
I love this country sometimes.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
On reflection
I've still been contemplating this "horrible" boat ride. I know I said the matter was closed but it set me to thinking about my worst trips. Here's my top 5...
- 5. Train from Madras to Trivandrum, India, July 2000. My second day in India and I decided to get my arse to Kerala. A nice, large open plan sleeper carriage. Indians snore. 60 of them snoring in unison is deafening. It took ages to get to sleep. Then I woke up in the middle of the night to be greeted by the sight of some guy masturbating at me. The whole thing was topped off with an unpleasant experience in the toilet the next morning (rickety, wobbling train, small hole in the floor - I won't go into details, but I'm sure that any mental picture you can conjure up is nowhere near as nasty as reality).
- 4. Autorickshaws in India, Summer 2000. The drivers are drunk, stoned, and expected to make way for everything else on the road. They drive like nutters, whizzing round stationary cows and narrowly missing oncoming trucks who have no intention of changing direction. Every time I got into one in the cities was a near-death experience, and you were always acutely aware of the fact that your vehicle was blatantly going to come of second best if it collided with anything (including the animals). And yet I kept using them...
- 3. Flight from Rarotonga to Aitutaki, Cook Islands, Spring 2001. There's only one thing that makes a journey more nerve-racking than being made to stand in the waiting lounge as the hawaiian-shirted, flip-flop wearing airline staff size you and your luggage up and try to work out the loading arrangements that will avoid unbalancing the little plane that you're waiting to board. And that's noticing that the stewardess is looking very worried and leaning hard over to one side of the cabin during your flight. When the crew become nervous on a little plane, it's a little unsettling.
- 2. Flight from Phuket to Bangkok, Thailand, October 2000. Actually a very pleasant trip until the muppets that passed for pilots tried to land. We slammed onto the tarmac so hard I felt like a rugby scrum had just collapsed on me. People screamed. And then they slammed the throttle on full and took off again. Repeat 3 times until women and children are crying and mass fear-induced flatulence has broken out. The cabin crew couldn't even look us in the eye when we finally got off the plane.
- 1. Horse trek in Mongolia, July 2004. It was all going swimmingly til it started to rain. Then everything started to chafe downstairs, which meant that my balls took a pounding for the next few hours. Those saddles are really uncomfortable after a while. Next, as we made our way across a lovely flat plain, the lightning started up, blowing up trees about 100 metres away, which understandably made the horses a bit jittery. I can now define fear: sitting on top of a petrified horse with your feet in metal stirrups and realising that you are the tallest object for half a kilometre in any direction as lightning is obliterating the few trees nearby. It was striking 2-foot high srubs, for pete's sake.
Just thought I'd get that off my chest. Boat trips just don't make it into the top 5. I love boats.
I hate horses.
Monday, January 10, 2005
Back to normal
At bloody last. A good night's sleep, a smooth day at work. How badly did I need that? Now all I need is for the temperature to jack up by about 40 degrees and all will be well with the world.
On another note, I've been hearing second- and third-hand accounts of the bumpy New Year's Day boat ride that I shared in Thailand with half the teachers in town. People thought they were going to die, it was the scariest journey they'd ever been on, never set foot on a boat again, scared of the water now, saw God at one point, wanted to call my family to say goodbye and tell them I loved them etc. etc.
Eh? I just thought it was a boat ride on choppy seas. Of course, when I mentioned this to a couple of the others I received the reply, "Well, you were upstairs, weren't you? You weren't there when the window fell in."
No I wasn't, but I hardly feel that being downstairs would have made me feel like death's icy hand had been placed on my shoulder. Hell, I managed to go downstairs to the bathroom and skin up (not that I'm trying to show off as my rolling skills are appalling, but I'm just trying to point out the fact that this was hardly the Poseidon Adventure we were caught up in). I'm sorry, but the sight of a window pane breaking and the sound of shattering glass just doesn't induce mortal terror in me. Any form of transportation in India is far more bowel-emptyingly horrifying than that boat ride, for example. Or riding on horseback in the middle of a lightning storm in Mongolia.
Come on people. That boat ride was fun. Admit it.
That's the end of the matter as far as I'm concerned.
On another note, I've been hearing second- and third-hand accounts of the bumpy New Year's Day boat ride that I shared in Thailand with half the teachers in town. People thought they were going to die, it was the scariest journey they'd ever been on, never set foot on a boat again, scared of the water now, saw God at one point, wanted to call my family to say goodbye and tell them I loved them etc. etc.
Eh? I just thought it was a boat ride on choppy seas. Of course, when I mentioned this to a couple of the others I received the reply, "Well, you were upstairs, weren't you? You weren't there when the window fell in."
No I wasn't, but I hardly feel that being downstairs would have made me feel like death's icy hand had been placed on my shoulder. Hell, I managed to go downstairs to the bathroom and skin up (not that I'm trying to show off as my rolling skills are appalling, but I'm just trying to point out the fact that this was hardly the Poseidon Adventure we were caught up in). I'm sorry, but the sight of a window pane breaking and the sound of shattering glass just doesn't induce mortal terror in me. Any form of transportation in India is far more bowel-emptyingly horrifying than that boat ride, for example. Or riding on horseback in the middle of a lightning storm in Mongolia.
Come on people. That boat ride was fun. Admit it.
That's the end of the matter as far as I'm concerned.
Sunday, January 09, 2005
Meanwhile, in North Korea...
BBC NEWS | Asia-Pacific | N Korea wages war on long hair
Nice barnets, lads. And these people are trying to make nukes...
Nice barnets, lads. And these people are trying to make nukes...
Long week
My head's really not been here since I got back to Korea. I really didn't give myself the opportunity to dry out from Thailand and found myself doing midweek noraebanging - never a good sign. So this weekend has been my penance as my body has suffered. Plus the fortnight of hell has arrived - the two weeks of January in Korea when it gets murderously cold. Here I sit in my flat with the heating on full and I can't feel my fingers. Apparently it's about 10 or 15 below outside and I believe it. I wouldn't mind if there was a lovely white blanket of snow covering the ground to make it all silent and pretty but there hasn't been a single flake so far this year.
So anyhow on Thursday I was in the middle of one of my lessons when this very hot Korean girl burst into the room, jabbered something at me, then walked out. The kids translated, saying that she was telling me to "be ready." Two minutes later she returned with the largest camera I've seen, about the size of a small television or an adult terrier, and started snapping away. Oh, a photoshoot. I would have showered and shaved had they warned me.
The long and the short of it is that the school's putting adverts out in newspapers (and maybe even billboards) using my mug to entice parents to send their kids to the school. Hmm. Will it work? Find out soon.
Then went off to have some raw fish down in Depo market with Debbie's boyfriend Armin (he's a geezer who unfortunately flew back to LA yesterday). I've forgotten just how good fish can be when it's fresh and washed down with copious amounts of soju.
So to Friday, when one of the coolest Koreans in town, Kevin, was throwing a party to exhibit his art (he's a tattoo artist). No-one turned up! Well, about 30-odd people, but about 3 times that number had promised to come. I felt really bad for him as he's one of the best Korean guys I know and he's just too cool for this bumpkin fishing town. As Kevin himself said, he gets lumped with us westerners as an "outcast" for being too rebellious and un-Korean. That's just sad because he'd be a god anywhere outside of Korea. Sometimes the attitude of the people around here really gets on my nerves.
Saturday was a quiet affair. Hez was still ill (she's worried that she may have dengue), Debbie was taking Armin to the airport, so I just chilled and then went out for a quick nightcap downtown, where I bumped into Matt and found that Juliet (the sweetest barmaid in town) has returned to B&B. What a joy. Matt and I had missed her. That bar is really hard to leave when she's there - we didn't leave till 5am, although we were sober which is definitely a good thing after the last couple of weeks.
Work tomorrow, and the bitter bitter cold to contend with as well.
I need another holiday.
So anyhow on Thursday I was in the middle of one of my lessons when this very hot Korean girl burst into the room, jabbered something at me, then walked out. The kids translated, saying that she was telling me to "be ready." Two minutes later she returned with the largest camera I've seen, about the size of a small television or an adult terrier, and started snapping away. Oh, a photoshoot. I would have showered and shaved had they warned me.
The long and the short of it is that the school's putting adverts out in newspapers (and maybe even billboards) using my mug to entice parents to send their kids to the school. Hmm. Will it work? Find out soon.
Then went off to have some raw fish down in Depo market with Debbie's boyfriend Armin (he's a geezer who unfortunately flew back to LA yesterday). I've forgotten just how good fish can be when it's fresh and washed down with copious amounts of soju.
So to Friday, when one of the coolest Koreans in town, Kevin, was throwing a party to exhibit his art (he's a tattoo artist). No-one turned up! Well, about 30-odd people, but about 3 times that number had promised to come. I felt really bad for him as he's one of the best Korean guys I know and he's just too cool for this bumpkin fishing town. As Kevin himself said, he gets lumped with us westerners as an "outcast" for being too rebellious and un-Korean. That's just sad because he'd be a god anywhere outside of Korea. Sometimes the attitude of the people around here really gets on my nerves.
Saturday was a quiet affair. Hez was still ill (she's worried that she may have dengue), Debbie was taking Armin to the airport, so I just chilled and then went out for a quick nightcap downtown, where I bumped into Matt and found that Juliet (the sweetest barmaid in town) has returned to B&B. What a joy. Matt and I had missed her. That bar is really hard to leave when she's there - we didn't leave till 5am, although we were sober which is definitely a good thing after the last couple of weeks.
Work tomorrow, and the bitter bitter cold to contend with as well.
I need another holiday.
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Rotten day
It's been a stinker, I'm afraid. Been feeling worse and worse all day. I suppose the excesses of Thailand have caught up with me, plus the cold. Doesn't help that the school seems to be in danger of closing as there's been a mass desertion of kids over the holidays. Oh dear. These crises happen from time to time at the hagweon, but this one seems a little bit more serious than usual. Hope it stays open as I kind of like living here.
Also, a big shout to Zane and Christophe. Thanks for popping by to check out my pointless ramblings, but leave a message next time! Christophe, I can't believe you weren't finding GI Joe funny. Must be because it doesn't appeal to the famous French sense of humour. Zane, I hope reading these posts stops you from missing the 'Cho too much. Oh, and I went to Shave Your Balls on Sunday night (quick note for others - that's not the real name of the place, it's just a restaurant where we were subjected to an intense and perverted interrogation one night). I'm still haunted by what Jimmy said that night.
Also, good to know you're well in India, Terri. I didn't realise you were down south till I read your posts. Amazing how many people we know were in the area where the tsunami struck and it's a miracle everyone came out unscathed.
Also, a big shout to Zane and Christophe. Thanks for popping by to check out my pointless ramblings, but leave a message next time! Christophe, I can't believe you weren't finding GI Joe funny. Must be because it doesn't appeal to the famous French sense of humour. Zane, I hope reading these posts stops you from missing the 'Cho too much. Oh, and I went to Shave Your Balls on Sunday night (quick note for others - that's not the real name of the place, it's just a restaurant where we were subjected to an intense and perverted interrogation one night). I'm still haunted by what Jimmy said that night.
Also, good to know you're well in India, Terri. I didn't realise you were down south till I read your posts. Amazing how many people we know were in the area where the tsunami struck and it's a miracle everyone came out unscathed.
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Oops!
Looks like I had a few people worried back there. Came back to find 30-odd emails from friends and family all trying to find out where I was. Apparently dear Jess sent out tons of emails asking if anyone had seen me. Some of the kindy mums were badgering the boss for updates on my whereabouts. Clare was allegedly making frantic phone calls to my folks trying to find out what was going on. My parents contacted the British Embassy in Bangkok and listed me as missing. Really ought to sort that last one out as I might be one of the "200 dead Britons" right now. Maybe I can push it back down to 199 by getting in touch...
Monday, January 03, 2005
Mr. Body Massage Machine
Korea once more. I have returned. It's cold.
Anyhow, New Year's Eve. I got up nice and early with every intention of going diving. But they weren't going to dive till the afternoon, so I had a morning to kill. Off to Happy Daze. Silly, because there wasn't a chance of me diving after that. I met some Americans who'd just popped in for a quick smoke and stupidly recommended the 'shrooms to them. They all seemed in a party mood and duly ordered a plate each. Having consumed them I told them they were about to have the time of their lives and that they shouldn't plan on doing anything constructive for a while. At this point, the worry began. One of them was getting married at 3pm and he now had 4 hours to ride out the biggest shroom trip in history. He didn't have time. I realised while they panicked and started to make contingency plans ("What if the best man starts jumping up and down telling everyone he's a cat?") that it was time to make an exit before I was held responsible for ruining a romantic wedding on a Thai beach.
Off to see the sickly one, who was in a foul mood because she couldn't complete her diving course. So I went down to the beach with her, had a few coconut and rum shakes and had a dip in the sea. Then back to the dive shop to meet Ben, Jo, Graham and Yeon Nam for a New Year's Eve dinner and drinks. Alas Graham and Yeon Nam had two more questions from their diving exam to answer. It would only take 5 minutes. So Ben, Jo, Hez and I waited til they were finished.
We had dinner while we waited.
And a drink.
Then we had another dinner.
Then another drink.
At this point Hez had had enough (as had I) and said she wanted to go see a movie back in our village, which was more fun than seeing Yeon Nam and Graham doing whatever it was they were doing over in the corner. So we all parted ways and arranged to meet up on the beach. Unfortunately there were no films showing, so we went back to the chalet, ate some mushies, had a beer, then set off for the beach, slightly put out that New Year was looming and we weren't yet in a party mood.
The fireworks were mesmerising, but once they were over all you could see was very drunk people being carried around by their friends. Not a pleasant atmosphere. So off to the chalet I moseyed, to find a fiercely packing Hez who abruptly decided to go on a mission.
"Stuart, go to the shop, get a bottle of whisky, some mixer and then come back here and roll a joint." With that statement, Hez confirmed her status as the greatest woman who ever lived.
And we consumed everything. It was messy, and the facts are still not fully forthcoming. I know I was talking to myself at 4am, and that Hez had fallen out of the hammock. Twice.
Next thing I knew it was 9am and we had to get to the ferry port asap. Unfortunately we were both still trashed and doing anything was proving to be difficult. Yet we made it in time to be told that there was no time for us to have the delicious breakfast that everyone else had just polished off. We only had time to wait for Graham to go to the travel agents for a few minutes, then wait for a boat for half an hour.
And what a boat journey. Choppy waters indeed. Apparently on the lower deck the windows caved in and everyone's sick bags got sent flying. I was on top, so I only heard this. Although the seasick spectacular show upstairs was pretty dramatic.
From this point on, it was a pretty uneventful trip. Mind you, that's because a quick luggage check on the boat revealed that I still had an awful lot of stuff that I couldn't leave Thailand with. So I ate it. So while I was drifting groggily and grumpily through what ought to have been a hangover, Graham and Yeon Nam quietly looked out the window, while Hez's drunkenness gave way to a foul mood. Although she cheered up a bit when we found prawn crackers and curry paste at Surat Thani airport.
Prawn crackers bring joy
Considering the state of us, I think that managing to smile at all was an impressive achievement.
Then fly back to Incheon, bus to Sokcho et voila. Stuck in Korea again.
All I want to do is say a big thanks to Graham and Yeon Nam, especially for helping sort out the boat tickets on New Year's Day. Also a massive thanks to Ben and Jo for finding us a place to stay and showing us the island, in spite of the fact that Ben was dying of dengue. They're legends and I love them to bits. And also to Queen Hez, my number one party angel and general all round uber-babe. She made me laugh all week and helped to make this one of the best holidays of my life. We had a good conversation.
BODY MASSAGE!
Anyhow, New Year's Eve. I got up nice and early with every intention of going diving. But they weren't going to dive till the afternoon, so I had a morning to kill. Off to Happy Daze. Silly, because there wasn't a chance of me diving after that. I met some Americans who'd just popped in for a quick smoke and stupidly recommended the 'shrooms to them. They all seemed in a party mood and duly ordered a plate each. Having consumed them I told them they were about to have the time of their lives and that they shouldn't plan on doing anything constructive for a while. At this point, the worry began. One of them was getting married at 3pm and he now had 4 hours to ride out the biggest shroom trip in history. He didn't have time. I realised while they panicked and started to make contingency plans ("What if the best man starts jumping up and down telling everyone he's a cat?") that it was time to make an exit before I was held responsible for ruining a romantic wedding on a Thai beach.
Off to see the sickly one, who was in a foul mood because she couldn't complete her diving course. So I went down to the beach with her, had a few coconut and rum shakes and had a dip in the sea. Then back to the dive shop to meet Ben, Jo, Graham and Yeon Nam for a New Year's Eve dinner and drinks. Alas Graham and Yeon Nam had two more questions from their diving exam to answer. It would only take 5 minutes. So Ben, Jo, Hez and I waited til they were finished.
We had dinner while we waited.
And a drink.
Then we had another dinner.
Then another drink.
At this point Hez had had enough (as had I) and said she wanted to go see a movie back in our village, which was more fun than seeing Yeon Nam and Graham doing whatever it was they were doing over in the corner. So we all parted ways and arranged to meet up on the beach. Unfortunately there were no films showing, so we went back to the chalet, ate some mushies, had a beer, then set off for the beach, slightly put out that New Year was looming and we weren't yet in a party mood.
The fireworks were mesmerising, but once they were over all you could see was very drunk people being carried around by their friends. Not a pleasant atmosphere. So off to the chalet I moseyed, to find a fiercely packing Hez who abruptly decided to go on a mission.
"Stuart, go to the shop, get a bottle of whisky, some mixer and then come back here and roll a joint." With that statement, Hez confirmed her status as the greatest woman who ever lived.
And we consumed everything. It was messy, and the facts are still not fully forthcoming. I know I was talking to myself at 4am, and that Hez had fallen out of the hammock. Twice.
Next thing I knew it was 9am and we had to get to the ferry port asap. Unfortunately we were both still trashed and doing anything was proving to be difficult. Yet we made it in time to be told that there was no time for us to have the delicious breakfast that everyone else had just polished off. We only had time to wait for Graham to go to the travel agents for a few minutes, then wait for a boat for half an hour.
And what a boat journey. Choppy waters indeed. Apparently on the lower deck the windows caved in and everyone's sick bags got sent flying. I was on top, so I only heard this. Although the seasick spectacular show upstairs was pretty dramatic.
From this point on, it was a pretty uneventful trip. Mind you, that's because a quick luggage check on the boat revealed that I still had an awful lot of stuff that I couldn't leave Thailand with. So I ate it. So while I was drifting groggily and grumpily through what ought to have been a hangover, Graham and Yeon Nam quietly looked out the window, while Hez's drunkenness gave way to a foul mood. Although she cheered up a bit when we found prawn crackers and curry paste at Surat Thani airport.
Prawn crackers bring joy
Considering the state of us, I think that managing to smile at all was an impressive achievement.
Then fly back to Incheon, bus to Sokcho et voila. Stuck in Korea again.
All I want to do is say a big thanks to Graham and Yeon Nam, especially for helping sort out the boat tickets on New Year's Day. Also a massive thanks to Ben and Jo for finding us a place to stay and showing us the island, in spite of the fact that Ben was dying of dengue. They're legends and I love them to bits. And also to Queen Hez, my number one party angel and general all round uber-babe. She made me laugh all week and helped to make this one of the best holidays of my life. We had a good conversation.
BODY MASSAGE!
